What 95% of Single Dads Get Wrong About Fatherhood After Divorce
Getting dumped was the best thing that ever happened to my parenting.
I used to avoid my kids.
I rushed through family moments so I could hurry to the part where my brain could switch off.
Instead of family dinners, I fed them first. A medley of cheap cocktail sausages, dinosaur pasta, and sliced carrots — with a generous helping of ketchup. A 3-minute job.
Why? So I could put them to bed early and slump in front of the TV with an oversized bowl of cheesy fettuccine. A haven where I could silence my crushing sense of inadequacy with Netflix and calories.
My idea of family broke in two after divorce. My kids were simply…dependents.
If I’m honest, I was a shitty dad.
The worst thing was, half-assing fatherhood only made me feel more guilt. More shame. More failure.
Things didn’t shift until my ex tried to move cities. I fought like Wolverine for them to stay. It made me realise how vital being a father was to my wellbeing.
Eight years later, being a dad is the anchor for my life. I know you want that too.
So how can you start enjoying parenting again?
What’s wrong with microwave pizza?
After a separation, you probably felt like a second-class citizen.
The stereotype of dads as clueless buffoons who feed their kids microwave pizza and let them watch Deadpool at six years old? Yeah, it’s alive and well.
Early on, my ex used to nag me constantly about my parenting.
“Can you please make sure you put sunblock on them when you go out?”
“Can you please limit their screen time?”
“Can you please make sure they wear a jacket when it’s raining?”
Drove me nuts.
The world seems to assume dads are barely reliable, especially post-separation. That assumption can crush your self-worth. But — and this is a tough pill to swallow — there’s some truth in there.
We stumble into fatherhood like we’re figuring out how to defuse a bomb with no instructions.
There’s no dad school. No secret manual. No wise elders pulling us aside to share their wisdom. Instead, the older generation just grabs popcorn and says, “This is what you put me through. Enjoy.”
Here’s what you need to embrace: fatherhood is a skill.
You have to decide if you want to be good at it. Or not.
Full-ass fatherhood
When you’re a single dad, you don’t have the luxury of half-assing this.
The safety net of a partner isn’t there to catch you anymore. It’s all you now.
But here’s the good news: you can level up your dad game if you’re willing to put in the effort. Single fatherhood isn’t a “downgrade”. For you, or your kids. It’s an opportunity for reinvention.
And it isn’t just something you do. It’s something you get good at.
Kobe Bryant didn’t become one of the greatest of all time because he was born with a basketball in his hands. He was obsessive about mastery. Every detail of his game — relentlessly refined. Every mistake — studied and improved upon. He read, learned, sought mentors, and practiced like his life depended on it.
So here’s the big question: What if you applied even 5% of that mindset to being a dad?
What if you stopped coasting and started treating fatherhood like a skill?
Because it fucking is.
And the better you get at it, the better everything else in your life gets, too.
I help dads rebuild their confidence after divorce—so they can show up stronger for their kids in just 12 weeks. If you're ready to stop feeling stuck and start feeling like you again, reach out HERE.
Let’s make this your comeback story.
Fatherhood isn’t a Matrix download
Good dads aren’t born, they’re built.
Stop expecting fatherhood to come naturally, like some kind of pre-installed software. It doesn’t. How would you treat parenting if it were a career change, a fitness goal, or a new hobby?
You have to study it. Be curious. Experiment. Learn.
When I finally embraced this mindset, fatherhood stopped being a burden and became something far more rewarding. I started seeing progress in myself: more presence, more patience, better decisions.
My kids noticed too.
They adore me for it. And let me tell you — after feeling kicked to the curb post-separation, that kind of validation is a lifeline.
Parenting is a lifelong game. The sooner you start investing, the wealthier your dad account will be.
Becoming the dad GOAT
I’m not the Kobe Bryant of fatherhood.
I sometimes lose my temper over towels on the floor. Hide in the bathroom just to get five minutes of peace. Stick my kids in front of Netflix so I can scroll Instagram in silence.
But to them? I’m the greatest of all time.
I even have a mug that says so.
Every morning, it reminds me what actually matters — and why fatherhood deserves the same relentless commitment as my career, if not more. It makes me feel needed. Vital.
Now, my kids and I eat every meal together. We’re a family, no matter how many butts are at the table.
You don’t have to be the best dad in the world.
Just the GOAT in their eyes.
90 days from now, you could be more confident, taking bigger risks, and fully enjoying fatherhood—with a clear head, free from constant negativity. I’ll show you how.
If you want my no-BS roadmap for rebuilding confidence after divorce, I’ve created a FREE email course to get started.
Start here →Let's F**king Go!
For more dadsplaining, check out my last edition. I shared how lose the stench of post-divorce desperation and actually become an attractive prospect again:
Why You’ve Become Invisible to Women After a Breakup (And How to Change That)
“8 months single, and I might as well be invisible!”